AG1 (Athletic Greens) review: Seventy-nine bucks a month for green dirt water

What I tested

AG1 Daily, the green powder that costs more per month than my damn electric bill in March. Seventy-nine dollars. For thirty servings. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it—that number made me wince harder than the Browns did all last season.

I bought it anyway because my wife kept nagging me after I fell asleep on the couch at 7:30 PM three nights straight. When you're pulling double shifts running conduit in commercial buildings and it's February in Toledo, something's gotta give. Usually it's your back or your energy or both.

What actually works

Look, I'm not a chemist. I can't tell you what ashwagandha does or why there's 75 different ingredients in here. What I can tell you is that after about three weeks, I stopped needing two cups of gas station coffee just to function by noon. That's something.

I mix one scoop in cold water every morning at 5:15 before my shift. Tastes like grass clippings the first week, ain't gonna lie. My buddy Rick said it tasted like "if a lawn had feelings and you blended them." He's not wrong. But by day eight or nine your taste buds give up and it just becomes part of the routine. Add a squeeze of lemon and it's tolerable.

The main thing I noticed was recovery. I do a lot of overhead work, ladder time, crawling through tight spaces in attics. Used to feel like I got hit by a truck every Wednesday. Now it's more like a small sedan. Still sore, but I ain't dragging ass like I used to.

What I don't buy

The marketing is pure podcast bro nonsense. Every fitness influencer and tech guy apparently drinks this stuff while talking about optimizing their morning routine or whatever. Makes it feel less like a supplement and more like a lifestyle brand that wants me to also buy their journal and wake up at 4 AM to meditate.

And that price. Jesus. Seventy-nine bucks a month is what I spend on actual groceries some weeks. For what's basically a fancy multivitamin with some greens mixed in. Yeah, it's ConsumerLab certified and third-party tested, which matters, but you're still paying for a hell of a lot of marketing budget in that price tag.

I also don't love that you can't just grab it at the store. It's subscription-based, which means remembering to pause it before deer season when I'm gone for ten days.

Would I buy it again?

I'm on month four. That should tell you something. My blood work came back better in April than it has in five years, and my doctor actually asked what changed. I told her expensive green dirt water and she laughed, but she also said keep doing it.

If it works after a double shift in February, it works. Just wish it didn't cost what it costs.

The verdict: Overpriced but effective—if you can stomach the cost and the taste, your body might actually thank you.